My Mother

My mother died peacefully in her sleep Sunday night. My real mother was gone a long time ago due to Alzheimer's Disease, but I still loved the woman left in her place.

I am so thankful she is no longer suffering. I am beginning to relax a little and not jump when the phone rings and can turn off my phone if I so choose for the 1st time since 2007.

My job as caretaker is done. The to-do list is long but manageable.

And because I am keeping a few items of hers, pictures, china, 4 pieces of furniture, I will pare down my belongings further as I transfer things from her house to mine.

I picked up the Diet Coke habit again, beginning the day she broke her hip. I will stop drinking them next Monday. I've also consumed pounds of sugar in the last 5 weeks as well. Low sugar diet begins next Monday. I may not be fit for polite society next week!

Arrangements for her service are made. The funeral home and church want a picture of her, no one seemed to listen as I said she would not want a picture attached to her obit or bulletin at church.

The mental fatigue lifted a bit yesterday. There are still tears ahead. My faith in the Lord will sustain me. We can take comfort in His Word.

Psalm 23 in the ESV

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2     He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.[a]
3     He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness[b]
    for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,[c]
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
6 Surely[d] goodness and mercy[e] shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell[f] in the house of the Lord
    forever.[g]

The Red Suitcase

In 2010, my mother wanted to travel to South Fork, CO where my parents had owned a cabin on the banks of the Rio Grande. Alzheimer's was taking a firm hold on her and I knew travel would be difficult but I decided to go for it. If we did not travel in 2010, it would never happen.

She wanted a new suitcase on wheels. So off we went to buy one, she chose red because it would be easy to spot on the conveyor belt in baggage claim. She also wanted to buy me a red suitcase which I did not want but felt I was to let her buy it, she bought 2 red suitcases.

We flew to Colorado Springs, rented a car, and drove to Creede, CO where we rented a cabin. My friend Anna Marie joined us.

The scenery was spectacular, mom enjoyed herself as much as she could, we drove by the old cabin to take a look. There were a couple of Alzheimer's meltdowns due to being away from home. On our return trip, 5 of us were removed from the flight to lighten the plane. (That makes one feel good about oneself!) My mother was left on the plane. I called my husband, he would pick her up in Houston. They assured us we would be on the next flight and our luggage would be waiting for us. HA! We had to spend the night. Most of us made it back to Houston on the 1st flight of the day because a family of 5 who had checked in never showed up to board the flight.

So there was my mother at Bush Airport with a United Airlines employee claiming her luggage. She claimed mine too. She claimed 2 red suitcases. I looked back on it a month later. God was not surprised I spent the night in Colorado Springs. (I was!) My mother was able to identify our suitcases because they were red in a sea of black luggage.

God was in the small detail of red luggage. He also prepared a DHS employee who let my husband park in a no-parking zone to wait for my mother to be wheeled out of baggage claim by an airline employee.

Sometimes we think where are You? He is there with us every step of the way.

Overjoyed

Wednesday my mother was too weak to sip water through a straw, we gave it to her by the spoonful. Yesterday, she was dressed sitting in a wheelchair, drinking OJ from a small glass and she ate a small serving of Jello. I was thrilled beyond words. She was wearing a 2 piece velour outfit I bought her just after moving her to the Alzheimer's community. She asked me to go find it in blue and told me to go to work. 

So...I went to work and I will look for the outfit in blue at lunch today. I am not a "shopper" but I will gladly shop for her. It will be nice to do something normal. I also made a hair appointment to get a couple of highlights during my extended lunch hour today. I mean what self-respecting Native Texan woman lets her roots go during a medical crisis???  (Maybe I'll watch Steel Magnolias tonight.)

Once again I read more of her favorite passages and Psalms. A hospice worker read to her yesterday. The CNA's are so kind to her. I am feeling much better about decisions I've made since she was discharged from the hospital the 1st time.

I was truly overjoyed yesterday at the improvement but I realize I cannot make too much of it. This weekend will be filled with mundane, normal life activities. Laundry, weeding flower beds, and for the 1st time in several weeks - a church service. Next week, I'll resume packing up her house and listing it with a realtor. 

Meanwhile, I'll try hard to live one day at a time.