I have neglected journaling much of this year. In May, I finally looked to see what I wrote the day dad died...I have not picked that journal up again.
Last night I was at Target and bought 2 small spiral notebooks, I began pouring my heart out about love today...trying to write very neatly, as if someone might read it. (HA!)
I poured out the type of love our Abba Father lavishes on us, the love Jesus has for us - as best as a finite mind can describe; the type of love my mom has for me, that dad had for me, how dad learned to love my husband and entrust me to him. I wrote about love I receive from other family members and friends. I wrote about my husband's love for me and my love for him - how much healthier it has become over the years. I wrote about the love I pour out and the times I betrayed people or was betrayed. I wrote about time I used to spend in unforgiveness and plotting revenge.
It was fairly random in 1 sense and very purposeful writing in another sense.
As I meditate on my Siesta verses: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.
I am thankful I am no longer easily angered and have not spent time plotting revenge in a couple of decades. I know vindication when needed must come from the Lord.
At lunch I sat outside watching hummingbirds and began to pray for neglecting prayer lately...I asked for forgiveness and had an amazing God moment - a butterfly landed on me and fluttered it's wings. It stayed on me for at least 5 minutes and returned a couple more times. It was close enough but not too close for me to see the colourful details without my glasses. The perfect distance for my imperfect vision to operate in a wholly focused way.
Thank You God for the time I spent in the heavenly realm with You. Thank You for Your love, Your grace, Your mercy and the shed Blood of Christ Jesus! I love You Father. I want to serve You with all my heart.